Embrace the Inevitable

You know what that means! Yeah we’re all getting shitty tonight! I woke up early to go buy cake mix and things but my plumbing is backed up so now I have to wait for the maintenance guy to come fix the damn pipes. Now I have to rush to the store after class to bake. I guess that’s okay because Emily has class at 6 and I really don’t need to hurry that much.

In other news… This may be my last quarter at AIP. I can’t find a cosigner for loans and everyone beats me when it comes to scholarships. How shitty is this??? I’m getting my education snatched away from me because I happen to be poor and come from a family that has to work for every scent they get?  Come on Obama! Where is this CHANGE you PROMISED? Where is the lower education cost you PROMISED? Where’s the grant money you PROMISED? Oh yeah… I forgot. It was all a lie to get elected. Wow America… way to go!. Anyway if I get kicked out of school I’m still going to stay in Pittsburgh because I’m leased to this apartment. I guess I’ll work more hours? Or get two jobs? I don’t know.

Writing… Hmm. I haven’t made any new progress on my book. I’m going to start looking up schools in the San Francisco area for my characters to go to. Who knows really?.

So about my plumbing issue I mentioned earlier. I came home last night from school and saw my toilet had no water in it so I tried to flush it. uhhh nothing happened. SO I was like WTF? Thennnn! This morning as I was taking a shower and water came in through the drain along with some nasty stuff I had no idea what it was. And then my toilet began to gurgle and make some disgusting noises. I called maintenance about an hour ago and they’re still not here. Oh yeah and there is water coming up through my carpet. It’s pretty nasty.

and I’m bored as efff! We’re going going over stocks and information on being a healthy business. I honestly don’t know why I have to take this class. I want to go into advertising or public relations.. not owning a business. I mean this class would be great if I had even a little ounce of my wanting to be a business owner. but I don’t.

I want a pet. My mom called me yesterday to say Paco is in the hospital with ivs in him because he was dehydrated and sick. I definitely spent the majority of that morning crying. I think if I get a kitty or something I’ll miss Paco less but that’s not at all what I want. I think I’d feel like I’d be cheating on him. But at the same time I want to have a pet to come home to.

This was short. Oh welll!

So last night I stayed up late and wrote for a few hours. I finished my character log and began to work on the setting. I need help though. They are in high school and live near the beach that’s great for surfing and is in an expensive area. I wanted to do east cost but that’s not good for surfing and then I thought about socal but come on, how cliche is that? This whole writer’s block thing sucks.

Anywayyyy! I stayed up until 3 or 4 am and had to get up for school at 7:45 but I was like… Fuck that! Ha and I just woke up about 20 minutes ago and I have to say it felt lovely!

I’ll write more later :)

Let me start from the top.

I texted Justin saying that I love him and I miss him and that I hope he’s doing well in rehab.

He said back to me that it was weird because he was just getting ready to text me.

I smiled. (via text so it looked like this:))

“I love you and i have to ask you a serious ?” he replied.

“Go for it.”

“I don’t want to do anything until i get out of rehab but i want you to know first i love you with all my heart second i want to talk about marriage with you”

I panicked. I had no idea what to say to that. “Serious?”

“Dead”

Again I smiled.

“Call this a proposal call it what you want but i have been doing alot of thinking in here and i’m done running around its time to be serious with life and i can’t sit there and act like i don’t love you and want you as my wife”

I was speechless. Was he being for real? Is this a joke? The only thing that came to mind to say back was “I hope to God you’re not joking.”

He replied, “If i could talk in person i would but no this is a serious ass conversation”

:):):):):):) is what I said back to him.

“So?”

“So?…”

“It accepted or not”

I could only think of nothing but “Accepted :)”

Does this mean I’m engaged?

www.formspring.me/triv

Uhhhh.. Get one and ask me questions =]

So in Financial Management today we were given a group stock challenge. Might I be the first to say FIRST PLACE?! Well… maybe not. I haven’t even looked at stocks yet today so that mean no money is currently being invested. However, it also means no money is being lost. Anywhore, I think this will be a great way to boost my grade in that already-easy class.

Currently I am writing more of my character log. I think I want to get all my main characters done by the end of February. Can it be done? I sure as hell hope so. I feel weird that I’m trying to write a novel. Knowing myself I don’t think I’ll finish and if, by some miracle of a chance, I do, will I be able to get a company to publish it? Will anyone ever read it? Will I be doing all this work for nothing?

I’m beginning my character log and working on setting senses.
I’m hoping to finish the preliminary shit by the end of this year.
Realistic goal: Finish this novel by the time I graduate… Still not sure if that will be by the time I finish my undergrad program or my master’s degree.

I can’t breathe. Literally.
I’m sick.
I’m always sick.
All     the     time.
My eyes are bloodshot and my nose is stuffy.

have not updated this thing in a while.

Over break, what little break I had, I spent the night with Justin. We talked about pretty much everything that has happened to us and what we’ve been going through lately. He’s finally trying to make a change for the better and make it permanent. Currently he’s in rehab for four months to a year, depending on if he feels he is ready to be sober for good or not. I can’t say I’m not proud of him. Actually, I’m so happy for him! I really love him. I have to say the best feeling I’ve had so far was when he grabbed my ring finger and said it belonged to him.
Moving on. Today Emily and I went to the mall then went out to dinner and I spent a few hundred dollars. I really need to cut back on my spending, which is, in fact, one of my new year’s resolutions. I have a ridiculous number of jeans and about a bajillion shirts I don’t wear and a mountain of shoes and yet I still buy more. note to self: pay off credit card.

That’s all for now, I guess.